Four brief moments ago, and by that I mean four years ago, I moved to LA...CRAZY! I can't believe I've been here for that long already. Despite missing the Midwest fall and spring (which my LA friends hear aaaaalll about from me), I really do feel like this has become home! I remember the days I didn't think I would leave small town Green Bay, but look at me now...livin the dream in La La Land (and by dream, of course I mean being a full-time missionary in South LA)!
Before I left I was determined to start a blog, but then I absolutely failed to do so. I posted twice regarding life in LA and then went about my merry way without having blogged to the world (or the 15 that stumbled upon my blog somehow). I figure, it's mostly because I didn't have stories of purpose to share with all of you. I felt a little aimless in "what to write next," and so my drive to write depleted significantly. Well friends, that purpose has arrived! Brace yourselves, cuz this will be a journey for both of us!
Anyone who knows me for any length of time knows that I suffer from a lot of physical pain. When I was in college I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, which is the diagnosis they give you when you've done every other chronic pain test in the book without solid results. I've never been settled with that diagnosis, simply because that didn't seem like a very conclusive reason to slap on the label "FMS." Nevertheless, the diagnosis helped me understand, among the thousands of others, that my pain was real (which isn't always believed to be true) and that my symptoms were characteristic of what others also express.
For me the diagnosis came about four years after I started noticing problems. I started having a lot more hip pain, inflammation, and exhaustion. I also was inconsistently lactose intolerant. Sometimes I would have problems with any of the previously listed symptoms, and other times I would be just fine. Those symptoms began when I was a freshman at my Christian college in MN. Throughout the years the symptoms worsened, and it was my senior year that things changed drastically for me. I started experiencing crawling skin (feels like little bugs crawling all over under your skin), increased inflammation in my joints, and all over pain in my body. I had more throbbing pains, stabbing pains, shooting pains, and just a lot of general PAIN! .
So, I finally came to a point where I was fully aware that a doctor was becoming necessary! I went back home to Green Bay and saw my physician. He did some basic tests and blood work. Everything came back normal except he said there was evidence of inflammation in my blood, and that was it. He then tested my tender points (there are 18 on the body). When he pressed on two of mine, my fist tightened and I PUNCHED THE DOCTOR! ...Okay, that's a lie, but I seriously almost punched the doctor out of self-defense. It was then I got the diagnosis of Fibromyalgia.
In college I tried some health changes, but nothing seemed to make a significant difference...but let's be honest, I was probably not as strict or educated about diet changes as I am nearly ten years later. After graduation I saw my doctor in MN who prescribed a muscle relaxer, pain pill, sleep pill (with the pain, I don't sleep well), and birth control (to reduce pain during hormonal changes). None of them worked...at all! So I decided that taking medications that don't prove to bring better health was not something that I wanted to do. Since then, I have been just living with the up's and down's of the pain, inflammation, and exhaustion while taking anti-inflammatory pain meds as needed. I was re-tested for several chronic pain diagnosis, but again, nothing came about. Again, I was just left to live my life with the pain and have joy despite it.
An IMPORTANT STORY that must be shared and acknowledged is one of when I came to visit Los Angeles for the first time. I flew out here to see what God might have in store for me and if being a missionary here was a part of his plans for my life. When I came out I had a meeting with the director at the time. After hearing my journey up until that point, he prayed for physical healing over me. I have never experienced physical healing for myself prior to that, but I figured, it doesn't hurt to ask God! So we prayed in agreement asking the Lord to bring healing. The craziest thing did happen! My legs felt like jello, I became super hot (in temperature, I know my friends back home have jokes right now), and I knew that something was happening over my body. Sure enough! All the pain that was in my legs went away! Sure, it wasn't a full body healing, but God relieved my pain that day in ways that I have never been the same! I used to not be able to stand up straight every single morning. When I returned home and still after I moved out to LA, I have never had that type or level of morning stiffness! So give glory and honor to where glory and honor is deserved. I praise God for that not often enough! He is Healer! Some may ask, "why didn't he finish the job" but I trust that He has had greater purpose in having not healed me fully, and I am just grateful for the ways he did bring healing!
Now onto LA...After moving to LA my health got better overall. I attribute that mostly to the sun being out 99.9% of the time, temps that never get below 40, and very little barometric pressure changes from weather like snow or rain. With that said, I still struggle with inflammation, pain, muscle tears, and the whole deal. I saw a chiropractor focused on natural health, and he gave me some good tips, but I wasn't ready to take them on fully and it wasn't as fully explained as it would have been good to hear. Since then I have had lots of ups and downs in my health and have grown in exhaustion over lack of good health.
I did a 30-day liquid fast for spiritual reasons about a year ago, and I actually felt the best I ever had. I assume that was because my body was being rid of any toxins and who knows what in my body. Then, after being sick of the pain, I tested the seven main food allergens most people face today (soy, dairy, gluten, peanuts, eggs, sugar, and corn). The only one that showed a SIGNIFICANT result was eggs! This still is incredibly sad to my life! I LOVE eggs, and eggs are indeed good for you! They are quick to make, great fillers for dishes, and are just simply wonderful! ...sigh...moment of silence... .. ... .. ... Okay, so I gave up eggs! I haven't yet been bold enough to give them up in things like baked goods or random things you don't realize they are in. I have however cut fried eggs out entirely. Although this is incredibly sad to my heart, this just had to happen! The pain was seriously unbearable!
Having skipped several details here and there over this journey, we are now up to date! Since having done the food testing, I went back to eating the way I had in the past. I don't eat terrible really. I have everything in moderation (even my addiction...sugary coffee drinks). I raaaarely overindulge on any foods (except those staff potlucks...fo real...soooo good!). I try to play volleyball twice a week when I'm feeling healthy. Also, I can look at sugary candy for years, literally, and not be tempted (baked goods, however, are another story). So what's the problem? I cut out foods that clearly cause me problems (eggs...the only one of all 7 that caused pain). I already limit peanuts, soy, dairy, and gluten. I try and deal with outside circumstances like stress, over-involvement, etc. I am moderately taking care of myself so now what? What's a gal gotta do to feel good around here???
Finally getting to a place of absolute frustration over my health and pain, I decided to take control of my pain instead of it taking control of me! I'm sick and tired of being a young woman (now 31) who is motivated and full of life but bogged down by some stupid pain...you heard me...stupid pain! I trust that God will do his part, but I believe that He has also called me to do mine. This body was given to me by God to take care of and to use as a vessel to do His will. He gave it to me as a blessing, so it's my responsibility to take care of that blessing. I may never get rid of the fullness of my pain, but I can at least manage a part of it by taking care of myself more holistically. Between God's power and His delegation to me, I trust that a year from now, I will be writin' and singin' you a different tune!
So this blog, these stories, this documentation, is to share with you my journey. I hope and pray that there is relief so that God is glorified, you are encouraged, and I am kept accountable for these changes. Ready? Set? Leeeez GO!
